Denominations

A Church Divided Over Leaders

10 I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. 11 My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. 12 What I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.”
13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul? 14 I thank God that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15 so no one can say that you were baptized in my name. 16 (Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I don’t remember if I baptized anyone else.) 17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with wisdom and eloquence, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

1 Corinthians 1:10-17


I read this passage a little while ago, and it struck me that we do this everyday.

Think, Denominations. First thing people ask when you say you're a Christian, and go to such and such a church is "What denomination is it?" they want to know if you are Lutheran, Wesleyan, Baptist, etc. But recently I've started hearing about people that consider themselves non-denominational. I kind of like that idea. We divide ourselves up and say, "I believe in the Bible, I believe in Jesus, but I don't believe that. I've heard of people that have disputes about their beliefs and what is better because one is this denomination and one is that denomination.

Is this what God wanted? For us to believe in Jesus, and argue with one another over weather Martin Luther or John Wesley more correct in his interpretation of the bible? I think even if we are all, say, Wesleyan, we are going to interpret things a little differently. God wants us to just love one another, and teach others about him. He doesn't want us to say, "I follow John Wesley" or "I follow Martin Luther" or "I follow so and so." No, He wants us to say "I follow Jesus." and leave it at that.

(Don't take this as me bashing on denominations completely. I still consider myself Wesleyan at this point and have some very close Lutheran friends. I'm just saying think about it. Why do you believe what you believe? Is it for the right reasons, or the wrong ones? If you disagree with my thoughts, I respect that. But please, comment.)

Hero

This song has really hit me today. We don't have to start big. We can start small and Make a big difference.


HERO (Red Pill Mix)


No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
‘Cause you want to belong, do you go along?
‘Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It’s not like you hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
Any kindness from you might have saved his life…

Heroes are made when you make a choice.

You could be a hero,
Heroes do what’s right
You could be a hero
You might save a life
You could be a hero, you could join the fight
For what’s right, for what’s right, for what’s right…

No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she’s brave
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out a hero is made…

Heroes are made when you make a choice.

No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he’s made
He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it’s his right
The choices he makes change a nine-year-old’s life…

Heroes are made when you make a choice.

Little Mikey D was the one in class
Who every day got brutally harassed
This went on for years until he decided
That never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door
Grabbed the .44 out of his father’s dresser drawer
And said, “I can’t take life no more!”
And like that, life can be lost
But this ain’t even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinkin’, “It’s not my responsibility
To solve a problem that isn’t even about me.”
This is our problem
This is just one of them daily scenarios
In which we choose to close our eyes
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice
To be the voice
For those who won’t speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged?
Now it’s our time to pick a side
So don’t keep walking by, not wanting to intervene
‘Cause you just wanna exist and never be seen
So let’s wake up,
Change the world,
Our time is now…

~Lyrics and Music by Superchick

Watch a great fan video of it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VodcMOx_QHk

ACTS 5:12-16

Acts 5:12-16 (New International Version)

The Apostles Heal Many

12 The apostles performed many signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers used to meet together in Solomon’s Colonnade. 13 No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people. 14 Nevertheless, more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number. 15 As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. 16 Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by impure spirits, and all of them were healed.

I've been thinking for a while about making a change in this world. Leaving my mark. One thing that came to mind was starting an organization to help people around the world. Of course, when you start thinking about that, you start thinking about two things. One is a dead end that says "I can't do that. Thats too hard. That would take forever, and who knows if it would even work. Think of all the time and money you would have to have. No way!"
The other thing you start to think about is, "What if I really did it? What would my organization be called? How would it work? Could I somehow get it to work?"

I came across the verse in Acts 5 talking about the apostles healing many people, and many more coming to christ. I researched a little and found 5 different 'Acts' that should be stopped: Abuse, Poverty, Child Slavery, Sex Trafficking, and Abortion. Then I needed a name. Why not just Acts 5? I thought. Of course, then I wanted the letters in "ACTS" to mean something else, so I came up with 'Awareness for Children That Suffer'. It fit with the 5 previously mentions Acts, and I started to get excited.

Then regular High School life came along and the whole thing was passed to the back of my brain for a while.

But now I started thinking, now is as good a time as any to start this. And if I can get anyone to help me, to organize with me or to talk about it even, and get this thing going, then lets do it! because all those things are problems that can be solved, and problems that need to be solved.

So if you like this idea, comment, Facebook message me, email me or otherwise contact me somehow. If you think that a different name would be better (i.e. you can come up with something thats just a little more catchy) than by all means, suggest it!

Today's teens are tomorrows leaders. Why can't we be today's leaders too?

........:P

Hello again! Today is another funny day. The smokestack at our high school cracked (they called it a 'structural malfunction) and so yesterday and today we don't have school (tomorrow was scheduled off because of parent/teacher conferences). It feels like saturday. Again. And the best part is, since the rest of the district (i.e. the little kids and middle schoolers) still have school, we don't have to make it up!!! :D Yay!!

On the other hand, I pretty much sat around doing nothing all day. And schoolwork. And more nothing. Kinda boring, but whatevs. Not really complaining. So that was fun

I am currently reading the Count of Monte Cristo as my extra book for english. We had to pick a classic, read it and do some projects over it. At the same time, in class, we are reading Macbeth. Actually we just finished. But now we have to write a paper over it. So I chose the Count of Monte Cristo because I loved the movie. But the book is WAY different, in case you were wondering. the first 250 pages or so are similar. And some other parts (I'm only about half done), but for the most part, the last 830ish pages are different. Thats right. Its about 1080 pages long. Ouch. But I like reading, so its ok.

My brain hurts. I've been doing stuff all day. Like sitting in my room trying to do my math homework, and my biology homework and my english homework. Ugh. Maybe I should go eat dinner......

A choice more than a feeling

Faith is a struggle. Something that is needed, something that is required, and yet sometimes quite hard to attain. Growing up, my idea of faith was a feeling. Something that happened in you that told you everything you ever needed to know, that let you know right from wrong. That's not faith, that's your consience, or the Holy Spirit. No, faith is a choice. Something you have to make a conscious effort about every morning when you wake up. It's a struggle to hold onto when times get rough. But it's a blessing and a promise at the end of the day. And I learn a little more about this mysterious thing called faith when I get up and say to myself: "this is what you believe. It's your choice, choose this today." so how do you keep your faith?

The Boy I'll Never Know

Your smile shines like the summer sun
Warming up my heart
Your eyes are full of passion
For your God
You know how to be strong in times
of weakness and of doubt
And you find a way to be happy
with everything you have

But you're the boy I'll never get to meet
You're the boy I'll never know
You're the boy that is in all my dreams
I wish I could hold you close

I'm standing here amidst the cheering crowd
and you smile from the stage
I wish that you would look down
Into my eyes
But you don't turn my way and see
The girl who you don't know
Walk away, trying not to cry
And the life you'll never know

Cuz you're the boy I'll never get to meet
You're the boy I'll never know
You're the boy that is in all my dreams
I wish I could hold you close

I see as star above me
Shining in the night
The cold air all around me
Brings me back down to earth
I say a small prayer,
Look back one last time
Turn away from here
And say goodbye

To the boy I'll never get to meet
The boy I'll never know
The boys that is in all my dreams
Tonight I'll let you go

And the last will be first.....

I opened my bible tonight to a passage in Matthew that speaks about the Workers in the Vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16) It is a parable about a landowner who hired some men to work in his vineyard early in the morning. All throughout the day he hired more and more men to come and work for him. But at the end of the day, they all received the same amount of money. I had read this passage before, and probably listened to a sunday school lesson or sermon on it at some point. But tonight is when it all clicked. Matthew 20:1 says "for the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard...." and goes on from there. I realized the passage is saying that it doesn't matter if you devote your time to God one hundred years before you die or one year before you die, you will receive the same reward in heaven, the reward of eternal life. So go read that passage, and start living for God! Stop procrastinating. He will take you now just as readily as 2 years ago, or 2 years from now. But remember, you don't know how long you have to live. So do it now, and receive the benefits. Thats all. :)

9/11

A day we will never forget. September 11 will always be seared into my memory. Most of my friends don't even remember knowing about the attacks for days or weeks after that fact, as we were so young in 2001. But I remember watching the footage on TV of the plane crashes over and over.
I can't say I remember a lot from that day, just that i watched a plane crash into a tall building and lots of smoke start pouring out. Dad had called mom just a few minutes earlier and told her to turn on the TV. So we did, and that's what we saw. Being homeschooled, I saw it when many of my friends now didn't.
I remember the guys on TV were talking about a lot of stuff I didn't understand and It was starting to get boring. Mom told me to go play. But even after I went upstairs, I didn't want to play. I knew something really terrible had happened and there was a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I will never forget that day.
A few years later after I really realized what happened, i wrote a really long poem in bed one night (in my head), but unfortunately forgot it. This is another poem i wrote, different, but the same basic idea. It is very sad and a little graphic. But poetry is how I relate, so here it is. Tell me what you think. And never forget those who gave their lives, willingly or unwillingly.

When The South Tower Fell

He took his baby girl to work that day
She skipped a day of Kindergarten
Sat in his office, spun in his chair
Just another day of work, He thought
He took her down to breakfast,
And she forgot her sweater
So they went back to get it
When the elevator doors closed
The whole building shook.

He couldnt see her anymore,
Debris was falling everywhere
He shouted her name,
Grabbed for her little hand
They had to get out
Screaming as a man jumped
Out of the shattered window
Turning away,
Grabbing his baby,
Running down the stairs

She cried as they ran from the 53 floor
And again when they fell at another
Shake of the building,
Bigger than before
The stairway was filled with smoke
He wetted his hankerchief with
Water from a bottle
And held it to her face

Down and down he ran
Keep her safe
Keep my baby safe
His thoughts only on her
He ran, coughing from smoke
The stairs wouldnt end
And the building shook,
Started caving in

Floor 7, floor 6
They were close, they were there
he ran faster and faster
Floor 5, floor 4
Dodging falling chunks of building
jumping over fallen supports
People ran screaming
"Get out. Get Out. We're going to die!"
Floor 3, floor 2.
Lobby. He Ran.

A massive shake,
he couldnt see the doors
Everything was smoky, dusty
A man on fire ran past
His clothes and skin burning
A beam fell, almost hitting them,
He saw an opening, a firefighter
He squeezed her through
Shouted "Take her!"

She clung to the man in yellow
Turned for her daddy's hand
A cloud of dust burst from behind
Orange flames licked up
"Daddy!" she called
She heard a scream
"Daddy!" her voice was frantic
The man in yellow carried her
Fast to a red fire-truck
They rode away
"Its falling! Hurry!"
She saw him one last time,
And the building collapsed
"DADDY!"

Grow

Why did the rain go away
Was it something I said
Counting the minutes of the day
Till the sun goes to bed

Stubborn cloud, I watch you rolling past
What would it take for you to cry at last
Don't be afraid to let your feelings show
If we dry up, then we won't grow

Should I tell you a story to make you sad
I've seen my share of pain
You've stolen the joy that I had
Every last drop down the drain

Stubborn cloud, I watch you rolling past
What would it take for you to cry at last
Don't be afraid to let your feelings show
If we dry up, then we won't grow

Isn't the load that you cary heavy
Isn't it time to let it down already

Stubborn cloud, I watch you rolling past
What would it take for you to cry at last
Don't be afraid to let your feelings show
If we dry up, then we won't grow

~JJ Heller

Update Time!

I keep promising to blog more often, and I keep failing! I am so sorry. School has started, as has loads of homework, early bird pe, cross country meets, all state prep and much needed sleep when I can get it. Because of labor day, though, we have a three day weekend! I am super excited, mostly to sleep in on Monday.
Speaking of xc by the way, our second meet was this morning. I didn't do the best, unfortunately because I had a horrible pain in my side most of the race, and was also having trouble breathing. Might have something to do with unknown allergies that I may or may not have. Oh well, I can only hope for better luck next Thursday.
Also, I finished my 40 day fast! I meant to give more updates along the way, but hope I can give more later since that didn't happen. I would give updates now, but I'm doing this on my iPod, and it is already taking forever to type my message. So have a great weekend everyone, and get lots of sleep! ;)

Cold Cold World

Seriously read these lyrics or go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soeYVoVDePU if you would rather listen to the song.

Verse 1:
In a world full of bottled up pain, hurt and sorrow
Six people out of ten won't want to wake up tomorrow
When thirty thousand children won't live through tomorrow
Malnutritioned and starved, stomachs empty and hollow
While the rest of us take every meal, breath and step for granted
Forgettin' life was a gift in us a seed was planted
We've lost ourselves to this world, with it became enchanted
Our hearts were fertile soil but now they're rock harder than granite
On this populated planet one man will kill another man
To prove what he calls manhood but really it's insanity
Can it be that all this pain, hurt and calamity
Is the derivative of sin committed by Adam and Eve
It gets worse, year after year statistics prove
That over 900, 000 kids suffer abuse
And that's just in America, land of the free
Home of the brave where 34 percent of children can say
They have to face life without their biological father
So basketball and rap stars become their role models
And now they're supposed to choose right over wrong
When all their role model talks about is murder in his songs
It's a known fact, this world is oh so cold
You could search your whole life across the whole entire globe
Just remember the prophesy from ages ago
"What prophet a man to gain the world yet forfeit his soul"

Chorus:
It's a cold cold world
Don't lose yourself in it

Verse 2:
Ladies and gentlemen, let me just tell you
A little somethin' that I think you could benefit from
When I was young I would pretend I was dumb and not raise my hand
So I didn't come across as an intelligent one
'Cause back then it wasn't cool to be smart
If you cared about school somehow that made you a loser at heart
It was a lie spread by kids that were to lazy to study
I was a fool to believe and let 'em shape me like puddy
Ain't even funny, time starts flyin' so fast
Somebody kicked it into fifth gear and stepped on the gas
Old age will creep up like a snake in the grass
Before you know it, you're dead lyin' in a casket
Everything we lived for didn't mean a thing
'Cause this cold world is temporary life in vane
So I search for what's eternal submerge myself in the truth
Lord the only way to stay warm in this cold world is you

Chorus

Bridge:
Don't let this world grab a hold of you, take you in and mold you into somethin' you don't want to be
'Cause when it's all said and done then, you can't turn around and change a single thing

~B. Reith, Cold World

Where I Land

You’re different from the way I thought you’d be
But here you are in front of me
So full of light I watch it overflow
A lovely mystery

And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve

You have a way of stirring up my soul
Did you know
When you hold me in your arms the way you do
It feels like coming home

And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve
And when I cannot stand
You are where I land

And when the years have stolen youth away
I will stay
You will be the keeper of my heart
Until my final day

~JJ Heller


I recently came across the inspirational indie artist JJ Heller. I love these lyrics, and her music is mostly about God. She is really neat, so check her out!

On another note, I got registered for school today. I start next wednesday. Whoot. I wish that summer didn't have to end... but at the same time I can't wait for school.

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies. :)

I guess that's just the way life goes.... :)

Tears Fall: An Argument Against Abortion

I have had the same dreams many times it haunts my mind
It starts with a light but it ends every time
Oh so many faces that this world will never see
A reason for your life but your heart will never beat

May our tears fall down
Let them soften this ground
May our hearts be found
God forgive us now

Oh what have we lost because we chose we'll never know
And loving you is better than feeling alone
And all our claims to freedom have become these heavy chains
And in the name of rights we keep filling nameless graves

May our tears fall down
Let them soften this ground
May our hearts be found
God forgive us now

Let the tears fall down
Let them soften this ground
Let our hearts be found
God forgive us now

~BarlowGirl, "Tears Fall"

I cant tell you how many times I have listened to this song on my ipod, while mowing the lawn, working out, trying to fall asleep or just simply because it came on shuffle. But when I stopped and really thought about the words, I realized there was a whole new message than what I first heard.

Go on. read the lyrics again. What do you see?

Faces this world will never see.
Your heart will never beat.
Claims to freedom.
Name of rights.
Nameless graves.


Abortion.

Its such a cruel world. My generation has lost 1/3 of its members. One third of my would-be friends are gone. Never to see this world. Never to live, laugh, love, learn. Never to be the next Einstein, the next Edison, the next Beethoven. The next Abe Lincoln. All gone because someone made a choice and wasn't ready to face the consequences. And that choice led to another, and that choice lead to death.

Abortion is Murder.

Sooner or later it all comes down to that. If you don't agree that abortion is killing, then let me ask you this. How old does someone have to be to have their life taken away and it to be considered death? Do they have to be born? What about the babies that die before they are born, "naturally"? They are still living, Right? If something is living, you can kill it, and that causes death. So you argue that aborted babies are not really alive yet. Well, when do they start living? Its clear they start living before they are born, they move and their hearts beat. They don't breathe, but they get oxygen through their mother's bloodstream. They are living. Science can keep a premature baby born at 22 weeks (maybe even less) alive with the help of machinery. But only a few years ago, they couldn't have done that. So, you, say, that baby is alive, one at 21 weeks is not. How does that even begin to make sense? Science advances with us as the constant, not the other way around. So if a baby is living at the point of conception, than taking its life away any time after that is murder.

Abortion is Murder.

I don't care if you aren't ready. I don't care if you are scared. There are people who can help you. Couples who would gladly adopt. Just don't make an innocent life pay for the choices you made.

As a girl, this is very close to my heart. I started crying when I realized what the song (Tears Fall) was about. Its more than just a choice, its a life. And you can save one.

Thoughts on Proverbs

The other day I was reading in my Bible, and I randomly opened to Proverbs 27:7, which says (NIV) "He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry, even what is bitter tastes sweet. Normally I might have overlooked that verse and thought, "Oh. Thats nice," or something but God chose to speak to me in that moment.

I started thinking about how if we fill our lives with desires for money, toys, games, clothes, popularity, and other junk like that we won't hunger for God, and even the sweetest passages in the Bible will not satisfy us while we look after those other things. You might be thinking "But even if you yearn after other things, there is still a hole wanting God, isn't there?" Think of it this way. If you eat a bunch of candy because you are hungry, when you get full of it, honey (or other sweet food) does not sound appealing. Also, the candy will not satisfy you for long, like steak and potatoes and veggies might. But for a short time, you are full, and anything sweet sounds disgusting to your ears.

Likewise, if we are hungry, really hungry, even food that we normally are not crazy about tastes good. It still may not be our favorite, but we will eat it to ease the pain of hunger. So if we are yearning for God, if we are starving for him, even the passages of the Bible that are sorrowful and filled with angst or rebuke us will be somewhat fulfilling.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this. Yearn after God, search for him, and he will fulfill you even when you don't expect it.

Fasting

So today is a rare day. Today I hope that not many people read this blog. At least not until September 4th. Because until then, I am doing a fast, and want to do like what it says in Matthew.

17But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:17-18

So I am doing a 40 day fast. Before you get worried, though read on. I know it is bad for my body to even do a 30 hour famine more than a few times a year, because I don't get enough nutrition and whatnot. So I am doing a fictional book fast, or a Novel fast. For 40 days I will read only the bible and non-fiction books that will help me grow in my faith. I believe with fasting and prayer, God can really speak to my heart, and I hope he will.

So if you read this and have some good non-fiction book ideas or verses to read, let me know! Thanks, and do comment.... :P

Randommmmm ;)

So The Spirit radio station is pretty much the best.
It has been an eventful(ish) day. Sort of. I'm being really vague.

Just gotta say that BarlowGirl is the best. Ever. The end.

Detasseling ended yesterday, so no more making money :( But on the bright side, I don't have to get up at 5 and go walking around a cornfield for 5-8 hours. So the last few weeks of summer will be just that- summer. Can't say I'm not excited for school to start though. I love the fall. Cross Country Meets, Football Games, leaves changing, campfire smoke, jeans and a comfy sweatshirt, new classes, no finals (yet), new friends, old friends, getting back into the 'swing of things', less lounging, more being productive. Man, am I weird. I enjoy being productive. Not that I'm very good at it when given the choice, but I would almost rather be at school getting something worthwhile done that at home getting nothing done.

Also, I am thinking about going on a mission trip next summer, and the one I am looking at right now is with Susie Magazine, called Never the Same Missions. Keep that in your prayers. Thanks!

So here we have it. Another short blog-post about random things. Oh well. Hope you liked it!

Lost

Today is a day of grey and dreary skies, with a bittersweet sun poking through. Don't know why, but it is. I feel alone, and quiet inside. I don't know who I am today, when yesterday was full of promise. I'm full of missing people. Carol, EB, Naomi, to name a few. I feel lost.

" 'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost "

This song is today's song. Sung by Michael Buble. So sweet, so beautiful, so sad. I could ramble for hours, but yet I feel my sorrow is a trifle compared to some. I don't have cancer, I'm not even sick with a cold, a close relative hasn't died recently. All I have is a stressed tendon in my leg, and that isn't anything to cry over.

So why do I feel like crying?

Bitersweet Endings

School ends for me tomorrow. Yes, I know its a bit late, but nonetheless, i am glad it will be over. However, with the end of school, much change is in the air. CR and AR will be moving to CO and will be very missed. I will be leaving teachers and classes that I loved this year. Well, summer is starting, and who knows what God will bring. ;D

Of Wedding Bells and such....

Yesterday I went to the most Beautiful wedding ever. the youngest son in a family we have known for a really long time (before I was born) and one of my closest friends got married. They are sooooo cute together. C was just glowing from the moment she walked in the door to come down the aisle, and her dress was perfect for her. A was crying later as he gave a toast to his parents and when they danced. And the first kiss was amazing! They waited to kiss each other until the ceremony, and it was the best kiss ever. Makes me really excited to wait. If a kiss is going to be that good, why wouldn't you want to wait :D They are so beautiful and I love them both so very very much. It was a wonderful evening, and to top it all, it was sunny and warm all day, instead of rainy and/or gloomy like it has been! God is good :D So that was my weekend, and now back to schoolwork! Best wishes, C and A!!!

Letter (poem) to My Future Husband

Dearest Love of Mine,
I feel you in my heart
As I sit here tonight
And though we are apart
You are in my mind

God has planned who you'll be
He has planned your love for me
and in this love I hope you stay
Holding Him until our wedding day

Now I don't know who you'll be
Do you already know Me?
But I know that God is Faithful
And One Day, he will give me you

So Keep yourself from harm
Love your Jesus fiercely
Stand strong and grounded in your faith
And wait for me.

Why Kiss the feet of the People who kick you.....?

"Hey, Hey"
Superchick

Some people you can never please
You might as well just let them be
They mock everything not their own
From their imaginary throne
But I won't bow down,
even if the whole world thinks I'm crazy

So hey hey, this song is for us
So put your hands in the air
if you're crazy like us
Hey hey
Hey hey, that's freedom you hear
Comin' right to your ear,
that's the sound from our bus
Hey hey

Why try to be like someone else
When you can only be yourself?
No one can sing the song you do
Be true, be legendary you
So I won't sell out,
even if the whole world thinks I'm crazy

Why kiss the feet of the people who kick you
When you can be anything that you want to?



One of my favorite songs. The lyrics are so true. Lets strive to be like this.

Change

Today we held a Bridal shower for one of my good friends. She is a college graduate, and though she is older than me we have become sort of close. My best friend SMM and her mom and sister put together the shower, for the most part, and I helped a little. Overall, I think it went pretty smoothly. It was a bittersweet day. Sweet because of course, marriage is a treasured thing and very beautiful. Bitter because it marked off one more milestone until the actual marriage ceremony, and is one day closer to CAB moving away.

The Devotional was about God being our constant in life (marriage) and change being the other constant. I find that a very interesting concept to think about. God is unchanging, and we have to change or we are screwed. If we couldn't change, we couldn't repent and be saved, and if God did change we couldn't rely on him.

I am very sad CAB will be moving away. Across the country, sort of. But I know that we here are just one small piece of the life God has planned out for her. And she will encounter change as we do. We just have to Go with God's plan, and keep trusting him.

Little Portholes To Heaven

When I was little, I always thought of stars as tiny pinpricks into heaven. When I stared at the night sky, it was like God was giving us the tiniest glimpse of the light and wonder that will greet us one day there. I love to stare at the night sky and think of that childlike concept. Before knowing what stars are made of, before even understanding the universe as little as I do now, my young mind thought that maybe stars were God's way to show us the Home He has prepared for us beyond our wildest dreams. Little Portholes to Heaven. Maybe that's why I'm never really scared outside at night, if its not cloudy. God's saying "I'm here. You don't have to be scared. I'll get you through the darkness, and one day you'll join me over her, on this side of the darkness."
I think we can apply that to anything in our lives. God's here, even though we don't realize it, his love and light are shining toward us, reaching, and trying to show us he is right by our side, even in dark times.

"Here's My Life"

Once again I said my goodbyes
To those who I love most
My heart feels that familiar pain
As I long for home
'Cause this road is hard
When I feel so far

God I'm crying out tonight
'Cause I've given You my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind
So once more here's my life

On the day that You called my name
All that I knew changed
I found when I said yes that I'd never be the same
Though the call is hard
You are worth it all

God I'm crying out tonight
'Cause I've given You my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind
So once more

Even when the tears are falling
When I find I fear the calling
You remind me
Words You've spoken over my life
Promises I've yet to see
You comfort me

God I'm crying out tonight
'Cause I've given You my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind
So once more, here's my life

Can you feel my Pain?

My heart cries out
I listen to the voices all around
The people jumping up and down
Joy in their voices echoes in my head

When is it my turn?
When am I the one?
Who am I to be?
Who can be my friend?

You stand there laughing
I stand here with tears inside
You will never know my pain
Because I'll never show my thoughts

Can you hear my voice tonight?
For one moment feel my pain?
See that you aren't the only one who matters?
And I'm in need of just a friend?

God I want to feel you
A quiet balm on my soul
But tonight the air is silent
and I wonder, Are you there?

Flower in the Rain: Sung by Jaci Velasquez

You are the One; there's no one else
Who lifts me up
And gives me water from the well
But there's a hole
That seems to drain it all away
And once again I'm left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out

CHORUS:
So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain

The evil wind, it blows a storm
To rock my world
Just when I think I'm safe and warm
I'm led astray far too easily
It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong
Until I know I can't go on

CHORUS

Lord, You have searched me
And know when I sleep and when I rise
You're familiar with all my ways
Even the darkness will shine
Like the day
When you look into my heart

Psalm 7

1 O LORD my God, I take refuge in you;
save and deliver me from all who pursue me,

2 or they will tear me like a lion
and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me.

3 O LORD my God, if I have done this
and there is guilt on my hands-

4 if I have done evil to him who is at peace with me
or without cause have robbed my foe-

5 then let my enemy pursue and overtake me;
let him trample my life to the ground
and make me sleep in the dust.
Selah

6 Arise, O LORD, in your anger;
rise up against the rage of my enemies.
Awake, my God; decree justice.

7 Let the assembled peoples gather around you.
Rule over them from on high;

8 let the LORD judge the peoples.
Judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness,
according to my integrity, O Most High.

9 O righteous God,
who searches minds and hearts,
bring to an end the violence of the wicked
and make the righteous secure.

10 My shield [b] is God Most High,
who saves the upright in heart.

11 God is a righteous judge,
a God who expresses his wrath every day.

12 If he does not relent,
he [c] will sharpen his sword;
he will bend and string his bow.

13 He has prepared his deadly weapons;
he makes ready his flaming arrows.

14 He who is pregnant with evil
and conceives trouble gives birth to disillusionment.

15 He who digs a hole and scoops it out
falls into the pit he has made.

16 The trouble he causes recoils on himself;
his violence comes down on his own head.

17 I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness
and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.


Praise God today for 5 things about YOU. Often, us girls forget to think of ourselves as worthy, but we truly are in God's eyes. So, take a few moments to think about it. God loves you, and he made you. Don't forget!

Long Time, No See :D

So I haven't written in a long time. This semester has been very busy, but that's no excuse. Track is challenging but fun.
Tonight at Youth Group, we talked a little about worshiping God, and what that means. My small group leader is a runner, like me, and she mentioned something about when she is running,she is worshiping God. I can totally relate to that. I feel like when I'm running I can talk to God very easily. So those are just some thoughts from tonight... not very much actually, but my mom says to get off! So, got to go! :D

John, Matthew

John 8:44. My friend Sara and I have said that verse since we were young Bible Quizzers every time we looked at the clock and it was 8:44. "You belong to your father the Devil and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for their is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." Ironically, I never really thought about who it was talking about, I never read the passage around it. Until now. Yet, I still cannot decipher what the words are trying to say. Any thoughts?

Matthew 25:40 Is one of my life verses. (see above) Today, I read the passage around it, and it is interesting to think of how we live our lives in little things, such as simply helping feed and cloth the poor, visit those sick or in prison, how we are really doing those things for God. Just my usual ponderings. Hope I didn't ramble too much :D

Spring Break is almost done... D;

Well, that was a fun week. It went fast and slow at the same time. Every day seemed like more that one, but looking back, it was way too fast. Well, back to school tomorrow. I can't really say I'm that excited, except to see my friends. But i suppose that is normal.
Next weekend, my sister is visiting IWU, Indiana Wesleyan University, and I find myself wishing I could go and visit my fried EB. I haven't seen her since summer camp. I will however, get to listen to Mark Cahill speak at the GBPAC for our Church service. That will be really good. And maybe i will get to go to the Do Hard Things convention in St. Louis, whenever that is. That would be really fun. Or in Chicago... :D well, got to go eat supper!

Live Like You're Dying

We only got
86,400 seconds in a day too
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
-Kris Allen

I heard this song on the radio today while going to youth group, and it struck me. How are we living? In small groups we talked about living for God, and not ourselves. Are we living for God, in a manner, that if we died tonight, He would be proud?

Just some stuff to think about....

Connecting

Today has been a long day. Track workout this afternoon was HARD! Still, I'm not complaining. I love the feeling you get after a hard workout or race. It feels SO good!! Kinda hard to explain unless you know what I'm talking about I guess. Its just a feeling I get. Which is why I love to run
Since two years ago when I started Cross Country, I have loved to run. Maybe because I made some of my closest friends there, or because I could actually work at something and feel good about it. When I'm running, I feel closer to God. I pray a lot on long runs by myself, and its a good way to calm down.
How do other people get close to God? How do you, those that are reading this? Do you just read the Bible every day, or journal? (That's another thing I do. I have a journal, that you could sort of call my prayer journal, even though it isn't actually prayers, just my thoughts of the day, directed to God, in a way.) Anyways, I would love to hear how you connect with God, and what he's doing in your life right now. and if you don't know God and are just reading this, comment anyways. Anyone can comment, so do! That's all for now, so GOODNIGHT WORLD!!!

Endings

Endings are everywhere. Tonight, both February and the Olympics. Last night was the last night of Cabaret, my schools talent show. Life is full of endings, all over. Life is full of tragedies. But its also full of hope. And we need to hold onto that hope in times of anguish, and trouble.
Congratulations to all the Olympians, not just the ones from the U.S. It was an amazing time. everyone worked so hard. I only wish I could be half as good as any of them in anything. I guess I'll just have to settle for what I get.

So hold onto hope, and be the best you can.

Whats in Store for us, only He knows

There is nothing more sad than watching a slide show of pictures from Haiti after the earthquake. I about cried my eyes out at youth group tonight.
The passage from Matthew was read, and I felt so moved. We have so much, and so many people have so little. One is six people goes to bed hungry. We can't even begin to imagine what that feels like.
My heart is filled with so much compassion. It breaks and tears every time i hear about children in other countries who have so little. I cannot imagine that.

I want to do something to help. Something big
Every day I pray that God will tell me what to do.

Wait for Me

Wait for Me by Rebecca St. James
Darling, did you know that I
I dream about you
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
And darling, did you know that I
I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
And keep your loving eyes only for me

'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Darling wait

Darling did you know
I dream about life together
Knowing it will be forever
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
And darling when I say
" Til death do us part"
I mean it with all of my heart
Now and always faithful to you

Now I know you may have made mistakes
But there's forgiveness, and a second chance
So wait for me, darling wait for me
Wait for me
Darling wait for me


I think we should all have these standards, this kind of love. This song has really spoken to my heart. This is a real kind of love. I can only hope and pray God has something like this in store for me.

Well, on that, Figure skating in the olympics is pretty much amazing. :D

What do you mean, your life is bad?

A few days ago, someone mused over the fact that I was participating in the 30 hour Famine. They said "I couldn't possibly not eat for 30 hours!" and it got me to thinking.
America is obese. That's becoming a fact. People "have" to eat.
But only a few hours from the coast of Florida, a little country is Suffering, even more than it did before the earthquake hit.
My heart breaks when I hear that a child dies every 7 seconds from poverty. I want to do something to make a difference. My generation is said to be the first generation that could wipe out poverty forever.
Are we going to do that? or are we going to sit on our couches, drinking soda and eating chips while our favorite TV show is playing and wonder for 2 seconds how anyone could go a mere 30 hours without food, then fall back into the same old routine of life, complaining about how hard we have it.

When really, We've got it good.

...

Owl City is one of my favorite bands. I like music in general, actually, but today I feel like Owl City. One thing i did notice though is that a lot of the music is relatively similar. Early Birdie is such a cute music video.

I've been thinking a lot about life and such lately. What am I supposed to do with mine? What am I good at? What do I love?

Who has Jesus made me?

Just a few thoughts.

Walking in Memphis

Put on my blue suede shoes and boarded the plane
Touchdown in the land of the delta blues
in the middle of the pouring rain
Touchdown in the land of the delta blues...
in the middle of the pouring rain.
By Marc Cohn

This has recently become one of my favorite songs. My friend Ryan (a different Ryan from the one below) is singing it for our schools "talent show" if you will, Cabaret. I have yet to find a version I like as much as him singing it.

What makes one a writer? Who are writers really?

thoughts by me.... :D

Thats All....

My friend Ryan's mom is having a baby today.
This should be exciting news, but the baby is 8 weeks early and isn't as big as it should be.
Please pray.

Redo ;P

Ok. So I take back what I said about Valentines Day earlier. Jillian posted a comment that it is a time for us to focus on God's love for us and I totally agree with that. Selfishly, however, I know many people who (including myself at times) wish for something more.
we need to realize we have it all.
God is with us, whether we feel it or not

"I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent..."
-BarlowGirl, I Believe in Love

These words were written on the wall of a concentration camp after world war two.

That just blows my mind.

The Little Things (originally written 2.21.09 at 7:56pm)

I love the way
The stars
Reflect your unknown face
And how your voice
Always seems
To be carried on the wind
And how i can almost
See your smile
In the beautiful sunset

The roll of the ocean
Carries your
Laughter to me
And I can feel your hair
In the sand
That slips through my fingers
And i will always wait
For you

No matter what
I'll be the darkness
That shows you how to shine
The trees that make your
Breath audible as it
Blows through the branches
The sky to put your smile on

I'll be the moon that pulls
Your waves of love
Up to me
And the Beach waiting
To catch you when you
Fall back down

So when you feel
Like nothing's left
Think of how I
Think of you
And find you just by
Looking at
The little things

Valentines is coming up! It's kind of sad for people who aren't even dating, but its fun to make valentines.
We are still reading some of the christmas letters we go (I know, Pathetic, RIght?) and i got on facebook to find some friends and people i knew when i was much younger.

I can't find ANYONE!!!!!! Do you know how sad that is? I think i may just go and cry. It is very sad when you know people you want to reconnect with and you just CAN"T! its a very saddening feeling.

Thank You for the comments! I love to know someone is out there listening (well, reading)

SUPER BOWL!!!

GO COLTS!!!!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!!!! Actually I'm rooting for the commercials, but you know..... :D Well, anyways, Hope you all are having a great Sunday.

BTW, is anyone even reading this blog? Aunt Tracy maybe? Please comment if you are.... :D

Well, Back to the commercials.... and the game, i guess ;P

Les Miserables

Les Mis. The BEST musical/production (or whatever you call it) ever. On My Own, and A Little Fall of Rain are possibly the saddest and sweetest songs I have ever heard. It is such as sad play. I wish i could sing like Eponine.
We went to Chicago to the CYT (Christian Youth Theatre) production in DuPage a couple months back, and it was one of the best nights of my life.

I love Theatre. *happy sigh*

State Speech is tomorrow, and I am going to watch some friends. I cannot wait! It will be so much fun!

Well, off to bed soon! I still have stuff to do before we leave tomorrow! Good night, and feel free to comment!

Another Day...

Just me and my thoughts tonight. Trying to work on history homework.
The stars are so pretty when its not cloudy. I love looking at them. Stars and the universe, they are all so beautiful and mysterious and wonderful. I love thinking about that sort of thing.
Whats really out there? How many planets outside of our solar system are there? I love to just gaze into the night sky on a summer night in the grass, surrounded by friends and a happy silence or soft chatting.
Well, I should get back to what i need to do, so that's it for now.

Please comment!!

race the train

I've been thinking a lot lately. this summer i helped out with a production at this neat little family owned coffee shop called Lamppost. They put on a lot of different dramas, and this past summer was the teen drama called Racing the Train. it was about these kids that got stuck in the basement of a mortuary on a class field trip, and the class shadow had a lot of things to say to the other four stuck down there. things that make you think. i wasn't actually on stage ( i was stage manager) but since i was involved, i still get to hang out with the other teens involved
every few sunday nights, we meet at Lamppost and talk about issues in our lives or thoughts on our minds. we do fun things like improv games and such (last night was a blast!) but we also talk about serious issues too.
last night we talked about our faults, and sins that we struggle with. we looked at areas of our lives that we struggle with, and tried to see the sins behind our problems.
i think its good for everyone to do this sometimes. examine Your life. what do you struggle with. Anger? Honesty? Self-pity? Pride? what's the sin, and what's not? and if it isn't a sin, what's the root sin behind it?
Just some things to think about.

as always, feel free to leave a comment. I want to know what ya'll think of this.

Do it for God!

Matthew 25:40 says,

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me. (see description of blog)
We are called to help those in need. Recently in Haiti, there have been earthquakes, as most everyone knows. (If you don't know this, then you must be living under a rock.) The crisis there was bad before the earthquake. I think maybe thats why God sent the quakes.
But there are more places, more people that need help. 25,000 children under 5 die every day from hunger, poverty and disease. 13,000 die just from problems related to hunger. One child every 7 seconds.
Rebecca St. James wrote a song called Beautiful Stranger. In it she writes, "Won’t You tell me now when did I see You in need of water? Oh, and tell me now, when did I see You hungry on the street? God, I hear You calling out to me in the voices of the least of these calling me to reach beyond my world, to the beautiful stranger."
That's what this blog is about. Reaching out to those who need help. Feel free to comment on stuff.
:D Thanks