College. That big scary word that hoovers just above us in the sky. It is the place we all want to reach, yet we shy away at the same time, trying to make our high school moments last just a little bit longer.
I've been thinking tons about college lately, not surprising since I am about to start my senior year of High School (AHHHH!). Well, thinking is a bit of an understatement. Worrying would be a more accurate term.
Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? What am I going to do AFTER college? How am I going to pay for it? What if I don't get any scholarships? What if no one accepts me? What if I pick the wrong school? What If I can't pay for the school I decide I want to go to?
On and on, you get the picture. A build up of worry and emotion that doesn't all need to be there.
I've done some researching, but seem to have gotten nowhere. For some reason, I've felt a draw to Illinois schools recently. I'm not sure if it's simply because I really really REALLY would love to go to Northwestern University (they have an excellent english lit program, I believe) or if my draw is because I really am supposed to go somewhere in Illinois. At any rate, most of my looking has been into Illinois Schools, some state universities and some other (Wheaton College, for example).
Is all this just nonsense? Should I just give up and go to Iowa State? Somehow, that prospect does not sound quite as appealing as it did a few years ago.
The one thing I have learned for certain, however, is quite discouraging. Most out of state schools offer almost double the tuition cost. Private schools can be an exception, but they are already expensive as-is. Western Illinois University is the exception for me because Iowa Students (among a few other states) are considered in-state.
This really confuses me. I mean, I understand that the schools want money and all, and there are probably some other technical reasons behind some of the cost, but I do not see the reason for charging students more to go somewhere other than "home".
Isn't the whole point of college to gain experience and learn to live on your own, and to learn life lessons and to explore the world? I mean, yes, college is about the formal education, and getting a good job afterwards, but only in part. College is, or should be, about a whole lot of other things than just simply book-smarts.
(Don't get me wrong, I love having book-smarts. Ask anyone, I'm an avid reader, and quite a bit of a nerd. I like having good grades. That's just not the point.)
Life should be about living, and living to the full. Learning everything you can about everyone and everything and everywhere. Taking chances and doing new things. I'm not saying you can't do those sorts of things at an in-state school. I'm sure you can. Obviously, I have no hands on, personal experience. I simply wish that students like myself could have the option of staying in-state, or going out of state without huge financial burdens dragging us down.
Perhaps I say this because I live in Iowa, and quite frankly, it would be nice to get out for a few years. I know not everyone who reads this (assuming someone is reading this) will have lived their whole life in Iowa. If you get down to the logistics, I haven't even lived here my whole life. But every memory I have (save a few fleeting wisps from my childhood) were made whilst I lived here. Don't get me wrong, I have traveled a bit, and do have memories of visiting other parts of the states. But I have no memory of ever LIVING somewhere else. And to be perfectly honest, I find Iowa a bit bland at times. Cornfield after cornfield, with an occasional bean field stuck in. The writer in me longs for a change of scenery, and I very much wish to live in a place I've hardly ever been: the city.
Though I would consider myself mostly a country girl, I think it would be beneficial to live in the city for a time, and to explore what the city life has to offer. I've always wondered what it would be like to live next to a large expanse of water, in the middle of a rushing crowd of noise. Chicago college life appeals to me for some strange reason. Perhaps it is just the prospective author longing to get out and glimpse the world early. Or even just the hopeful writer wanting to see life outside the same-old little Iowa mix of people. It could even be a budding journalist hoping to gain some understanding about the diversity of human beings. Whatever the case, I long for change. And college seems to be the perfect time to do it. I am convinced I would not absolutely loath city life to the point I would return before my four years were up, but I relish in the idea that if I truly am country at heart, I could get this bit of me out of my system, while gaining some valuable insight into myself and the lives of others.
All this to say, I really wish I could go to an out of state State University (ideally Illinois/Chicago Area) for a lower cost. A 'normal' cost, if you will. Something that won't keep me paying off student loans for the rest of my life. So mostly, this is a small rant. Kudos to you if you made it this far without giving up :) And now that I've gotten this off my chest, I think I will go do a little praying about it. At the very least, maybe I can stop worrying.
Please Please PLEASE comment below! I would love to know that at least someone is reading this! Even if the world inside my head is a bit strange.....
