Hello.

Sometimes, it really hurts to say goodbye. We don't want things to change, we don't want things to move on without us. We don't want people to grow without us watching. Simply put, it's sad.

Oftentimes I am hit by a wave of nostalgia. I sit in the car in the parking lot at the University in town and wonder how different things would be if I was going to this university instead of one 5 hours away. I am saddened by the lives that will continue without me there to see. I miss little events and happenings from years ago, I miss feeling a certain way, being able to constantly talk to certain people. I sit and prematurely miss the things that I will miss in 6 months, when I'm off in a different state, learning to be somewhat of a different person.

And I realize that so often we get so caught up in saying goodbye, we forget to really say Hello.

Yeah, It's ok to feel sad, and to wonder how things might have been different. But I find myself dwelling on that, and that's not ok. I need to stop being so wistful, sentimental, and learn to move on, move forward, not be caught in the past.

There are so many great opportunities. So many great things coming up every day, week, month, year. And instead of reminiscing about the past, looking forward to the future is something so often we forget to do. The future is bright. It hold so much. Its dreaming of days to come that so often pushes me forward to keep going strong in this one. So, I need to remember to look ahead, say hello to the future.

There is a time for saying goodbye. But don't get caught in that goodbye and forget to say Hello. Or you might miss something that's waiting for you in tomorrow.

Love you all! Thanks for the comments :)

30 hours and a few dollars

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when I talk about all the great and wonderful things I learned at the 30 Hour Famine this year. How it's making me want to be a better person, and bringing me closer to God and all that.... stuff.

The thing is, none of that is really happening right now.

I mean, yeah. I love that we do the Famine. I love that we are raising awareness and money for hungry children around the world. But too often, I think we forget the core purpose of an activity like this.

We talked about it a little in our group, but to me the concept did not seem emphasized enough.

A fast should not be about the outer appearance, but about the heart. Yes, the purpose of our fast was to raise money, and by doing so we had to tell people "hey, I'm fasting for 30 hours." I get that. It makes sense, given the perimeters and the requirements of the event that this happened.

I think that we got caught up in it, though. We made the fast solely about raising money. Raising money for hungry kids. And I'm not saying that's bad in any way shape or form, but honestly, anyone can raise money for hungry kids.

I feel like that isn't what this famine should be about. This famine should be about trusting God, saying "I am going to pledge these 30 hours of my life to you and your purpose. Do with me and the money I raise what you will."

God will take what we give him and use it for his glory. Whether it is one dollar or ten thousand dollars, he's going to take it and make a miracle come out of it. But he wants more than just our money and our time. He wants our hearts.

If we do this with even the tiniest bit of "look at me, all the great things I'm doing for the world" attitude, our hearts are not in the right place. (I confess to feeling this way, too. I don't want anyone reading this to think I'm placing the blame on anyone else's shoulders. It is on mine too.) I admit, a part of me wanted to act all sad and depressed that day. "I'm hungry guys, feel sorry for me. Oh, and feel sorry for the kids who do this all the time too."
Partway through, I realized that was completely wrong. I don't need to show anyone that I am fasting by any means. Matthew tells us that we are to appear normal in every way possible when we fast, or we are hypocrites. Only God needs to know of our fasting.

Because, like I said before, fasting is about the heart. It's not about the body at all really.

Fasting in the Bible goes hand in hand with prayer quite often. "God is more concerned with our character than our comfort." and when we make time to do fun things with our friends and surround ourselves with others partaking in the famine with us, we lose a little of the meaning of fasting. We lose a little of the character building we need to do in order to truly be fasting for God, to truly be pledging our hearts and our time and our money to him.

Don't get mad at me, I understand why the famine is done the way it is. But it has become something that we see as true fasting when it's not. I mean honestly, can any of us who have done the famine truly say we have fasted? I'm not sure. I know I haven't. Because try as I might, I want others to sympathize with me during that time. I enjoy hanging out with our church group because it 'gets my mind of my hunger'. And that, my dear friends, is not true fasting. At least I don't think it is, not the way God wants it to be. We should be reading our Bibles and praying when we get hungry during a fast. So that our hearts will grow closer to God.

I know this post is kind of ramble-y. and maybe a bit hard to follow. I'm having trouble connecting and polishing my thoughts tonight. I hope it made sense.

Let me know what you think of all this. I hope I at least caused some thoughts to tumble in your heads.

Thanks for reading.