Morning thoughts.

( http://whitepaperquotes.tumblr.com/post/25900799294 )

I found this on tumblr this morning, and felt very connected to the person that posted it. THis is the life of an introvert, right here. Yes. We like being alone sometimes. More often than not, I find myself wishing for the comfort of my bed and my headphones and a book and peace and no one else. Even if I am having fun with my friends. Even if I am enjoying and evening out or an afternoon talking with someone, more often than not I need time to myself to counterbalance the time spent with them. It's hard to explain to most people. Being alone in natural and healthy for me. For my mental and emotional health.

But I don't want to always be alone. I want to spend time talking with friends over burritos or coffee. I want to hang out and play card games or go on a walk. I want to chill with you in my room and talk about boys. I don't want to be alone forever. I don't want to be lonely.

It's a constant struggle in my life, managing alone time and time spent with people, getting others to understand that if I excuse myself from joining you, it doesn't mean I'm sad or don't like you. It doesn't mean I won't ever come back and join you again. It just means that I need some time to myself to process my day, my interactions, my thoughts. I cannot say this enough, because still there are people who don't get it. There are still people that say, "oh, I understand", but when the time comes are hurt or confused as to why I'm leaving. Why i don't want to watch that movie with you tonight, sorry. Why I would rather sit on my bed by myself than join you for a game.

I want to tell you that it is OK. It is ok, if you are the introvert, to leave when you are feeling overwhelmed, over stimulated, etc. And it is OK, if you are the extrovert, when the introvert leaves. They don't hate you. They still want to hang out with you sometimes. But they need time alone.

Just never leave them alone forever. Keep asking if they want to join. Respect them if they say no. Try to understand their needs. And never let them feel lonely.

Because for an introvert, loneliness can be catastrophic. It is harder for us to go out and make friends (or at least harder for me). Loneliness is difficult to combat without good friends. Introverts like small groups of friends, but if they can't find those friends, there is nothing to do but sit and wait for one to show up. The pressure of hanging out with larger groups of people who don't understand, just to not feel lonely is great sometimes. And if i do hang out with them once or twice because we are acquaintances and I don't want to be lonely, I feel bad later when I don't hang out with those people much any other time. It's a vicious cycle that cannot be fully explained unless you live it.

I guess I'm rambling. I don't have any facts, all of this is from my own personal experience. I just cannot try to explain the life of an introvert enough, because many people still don't understand. I know some never will, but if even only a few can, that would be wonderful.