life

i just realized it has been months since I posted last.

I apologize greatly.

life has been so incredibly busy lately. I haven't had much inspiration. to do anything. I'm trying to write a book for a contest, but i'ts slow going. and every night is filled with fear and doubt. If i don't get something out of it, is it worth my time? or should I be working on something different that will help me better in the long run?

So much confusion. I've been spending more time trying not to think for fear my thoughts will overrun me. I can't process thing properly anymore. I feel very lost.

maybe I'm just at a crossroads in life, a new chapter, a place where I'm moving on and it's so incredibly different from anything I've ever done that I'm having a hard time thinking about it. accepting it.

At the very same time, this is what i've waited for my whole life. the first step to being who I want to be.

the biggest problem is that I'm not even completely sure who or what that is yet.

so its a process. but hopefully, i'll be posting more frequently.

hopefully.

thanks to all you who read this, even when I barely ever post a thing.