Tired

I am always tired lately.

Physically tired, yes, because I am so busy lately with school, cross country, and violin prep for all-state tryouts. But I'm tired in more than just that.

I'm tired of not knowing. I'm tired of asking, and not getting any reply, any indication that what I'm leaning toward is where I should be heading. I'm tired of not being able to voice what I want. I'm even more tired of not really knowing what I want. I'm tired of people asking and not really wanting to know, tired of not being satisfied with a number of different things, tired of looking and looking and being discouraged at every turn. Tired of being so swamped with things, and not wanting to do any of them. Tired of school. Tired of homework and practice and not getting where I want to when I run.

Matthew 11:29 comes to mind. But nothing changes. I try, and I'm tired of trying and getting no results. Nothing changes. nothing happens. I'm still tired.

And I'm tired of being tired.